Walang Maliw na Pag-ibig

There is no greater love than the love that holds on when there is nothing left to hold on to. In this short story I portrayed the endless love of two lovers who believe they could be immortals forever....

Walang Maliw na Pag-ibig
(Tagalog)

Hanggang ngayon ay ikaw pa rin ang madalas sumasagi sa isip ko. Isang taon na ang lumipas. Kung pakaiisipin ay mahabang panahon na rin iyon. Sa loob ng isang taon ay marami na ang nangyari at nabago. Ngunit ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo, iyon lang ang alam kong hindi nagbabago. Hindi ko masukat kung gaano kalalim ang pagkakabaon ng iyong alaala sa puso ko. Minsan talaga may mga tanong na mahirap ihanap ng kasagutan. Ganoon daw ang buhay. Ang lahat ng bagay sa daigdig ay nagaganap na may dahilan.

Sa linggong ito ay napadalas ang pagliwaliw ko sa mga disco bars, party at beer houses. Paano ko ba matanggihan ang paanyaya nina Jake, Mike, Shena at Ella? Naisip ko rin na kailangan kong ilabas mula sa loob ang mga hinanakit ko sa buhay. Tama sila, kailangan paminsan-minsan ay pagbigyan ko namam ang aking sariling malibang.

Sila ang palagi kong kasama. Hindi na kasi sila iba sa akin at maging sa iyo rin. Hindi ba sila ang tinuturing nating mga tunay na kaibigan? Sila ang mga kaibigan natin na hindi nang-iiwan. Sa oras ng aking kawalan, sila ang nagsilbing lakas ko. Sila ang walang sawang dumamay sa akin sa panahon ng aking kalungkutan at pilit nila akong pinasaya.

Halos sa lahat ng oras ay kasama ko sila. Inuman dito, sayawan doon. Sa loob ng nagkikislapang ilaw sa disco bars, sa mabubulang beer at sa madagundong at nakaiindak na tunog ng musika ay naisabay kong inilabas ang aking mga halakhak na matagal ding nagtago sa aking puso. Kakaibang saya ang naramdaman ko. Nagawa ko iyon ng malaya at walang pag-alinlangan. Talagang iba ang saya kapag kasama ang tropa. Tawanan, sigawan, bulyawan, tawanan ulit!

Itong si Ella hindi pa rin nawawala ang pagkakwela. Madalas ito ang nangunguna sa pagpapatawa. Naalala ko tuloy noong mga araw kung paano ka niya pinatawa nang pagkalakas-lakas. Naging kantiyaw na niya sa akin noon iyong mahubad ang pang-ibaba kong costume sa stage play namin na “Romeo & Juliet”. Hindi naman ako nagalit. Dahil nga sa kantiyaw niyang iyon ay nagkakilala tayo. At noong unang nabungaran at nasilayan ko ang iyong mukha ay iba na agad ang naramdaman ko. Kapag kaharap kita ay natataranta ako. Noon pa man ay alam kong umiibig na ako sa’yo. Salamat kay Ella. Sila na nga pala ni Jake ngayon. Biruin mo, nagkatagpo ang landas ng dalawa? Hindi talaga kami makapaniwalang sila na nga. Ikaw din siguro ay mabibigla. Pinaka- hate ni Ella ang chickboy. Si Jake naman ay ayaw niya sa mga babaeng masyadong magaslaw at liberated. Ang hinahanap niya ay iyong tipong Maria Clara kung kumilos. Mahilig siya sa mahihinhin at pinung-pino kung kumilos dahil iyon daw ang totoong dalagang Pilipina.

Sia Mike at Shen naman ay going steady na. Sa susunod na taon ay magbabalak na silang suungin ang buhay mag-asawa. Alam naman natin kung gaano nila kamahal ang isa’t-isa.

Marami na nga talaga ang nangyari. Alam mo ba nang dumating ang araw ng pagtatapos namin noong isang buwan? Kaming apat ang tinawag na Cum Laude sa taung ito! Si Mike ay sa BS Accountancy, si Jake sa BS Civil Engineering, si Shen sa BS Banking and Finance, at ako naman sa BS Education. Siguro kung nandoon ka lang, malamang ay dalawa tayo sa larangang ito.

Malapit ko na rin matapos ang aklat na inaasam-asam kung mabuo iyong “The Life and Adventure of Zalduah” Sa pagsusulat ko sa aklat na ito ay nagiging inspirasyon ko ang ating kwento.

Nitong huli ay nagawi ang tropa sa Meteor Park. Diba madalas doon tayo noon pumupunta? Maganda pa rin ito. Ang sarap damhin ang simoy ng hangin. Hindi ko magawang hindi dalawin ang mga alaala ng nakalipas at kung may gusto man akong balikan sa alaala siguro ay iyong araw na sinagot mo ako doon sa mala-palasyong Meteor Park. Paano ko ba malilimutan iyon? Ang pook na iyon ang naging saksi ng ating pagmamahalan. Doon naramdaman ko ang iyong walang kupas na pag-aalaga at pagmamahal. Sa pook ding iyon naramdaman kong bung-buo ang aking pagkatao. Naging masigla ang mga sumunod na araw. Mababaw nga talaga ang kaligayahan ng isang taong umiibig.

Halos masuka na ako sa kalasingan. Alam mong hindi ako dating ganito. Minsan ay napikon ako kay Mike. Gusto ko pang uminom pero hindi na niya ako tinagayan.

“Mike isa pa!” para akong batang nagsusumamo. Nakita kong gaano kasaya ang aking paligid. Para akong inilutang sa ulap. Ang lahat ay parang kayang-kaya kong liparin.

“Tama na, nasusuka ka na eh,” tanggi nito.
Sa grupo natin si Mike lang naman ang hindi agad-agad na nalalasing.

“Mabuti pang sumayaw na lang tayo,” sambit ni Ella at Shen na halatang lasing na rin.
Niyaya kaming sumayaw sa gitna ng dance floor. Todo naman ang sayaw naming lima. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam!

Sa gitna ng kasiyahan ay bigla ulit kitang naalala. “Kung nandito ka lang sana, ako na siguro ang pinakamasayang tao sa buong daigdig,” naibulong ko sa aking sarili. Nawala agad ang sigla sa aking pagsasayaw. Bumalik ako sa upuan at minarapat na lang na panunuurin sila. Kinamayan ako ni Jake, nagtaka siguro siya kung bakit ako biglang bumalik sa table namin. Nginitian ko lang siya. Magkahalong emosyon ang naramdaman ko. Naglakbay na naman ang isip ko. Sa aking balintataw ay lumitaw ang iyong napakaamong mukha. Napangiti ako ng ubod ng luwang.

Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin kung paano mangarap, mali pala, ang totoo, ako lang pala ang bumuo ng mga pangarap natin. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako masaya. Pero hindi mo siguro napansin noon na habang kasama kita ay naramdaman kong naglalakbay ang iyong isipan sa malayo. Inilihim ko na lang ang sakit. Nagtaka ako kung bakit nag-iba ka na. Ganun ba talaga ang umibig? Mahal kita at yan palagi ang binubulong ng puso ko.

Sabi nila oras na umibig ka kakaibang saya ang mararamdaman mo, magbabago ang lahat, magiging kapana-panabik ang bawat sandali. Iyong kapag nakikita mo siya ay bumibilis ang tibok ng iyong puso, sumasaya ang paligid, lahat ay nagdidiwang. Higit pa roon ang naramdaman ko sa tuwing kasama ka.

Bakit ba hindi ko magawang limutin ang lahat? Minsan, nakatulugan kong yakap-yakap ang iyong larawan. Mahal na mahal pa rin kita. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako masaya at ikaw din ang dahilan kung bakit ako malungkot ngayon. Laging may kirot na kumukudlit sa aking puso sa tuwing nagigising ako sa umaga at naalalang wala kana. Bago ako natutulog sa gabi ay umiiyak ako. Ngayon lang ako nakaranas umibig at mabigo. Ang sakit-sakit pala! Pakiramdam ko ay may bahagi sa aking pagkatao ang nawala. Baliw na nga siguro ako sa pagmamahal sa’yo. Pero bakit hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin matanggap na patay ka na? Bakit hindi ko pa rin matanggap na iniwan mo na akong nag-iisa matapos ang sumpaan nating walang iwanan. Nang lumisan ka, tumigil ang pag-inog ng aking mundo. Dumating din sa akin noon na parang gusto ko na ring sisihin ang langit kung bakit ka pa kinuha sa akin.

Hanggang kailan ko ikukulong ang sarili sa iyong alaala? Lagi na lang akong nakakulong sa kahapon. Para akong sinaksak nang sinabi mong hindi mo na ako mahal!

“Hindi a kita pwedeng mahalin.” Minsan mong sinabi sa akin.

“Pero bakit? At sa aong dahilan?” nagtatakang tanong ko sa’yo.

“Dahil alam ko na ang lahat!Hindi kita pwedeng mahalin dahil magkapatid tayo!” paliwanag mo sa akin. Nakita ko kung paano dahan-dahang pumatak ang mga luha sa iyong mga mata.

Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa sa mga sandaling iyon. Kinirot ang puso ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa katotohanang iyon.

Gusto ko nang lumaya upang ganap na makalimot ngunit bakit hindi ko magawa? Kapag balikad na ang takbo ng orasan o kaya naman ay kapag berde na ang kulay ng dagat, siguro ay saka pa kita magawang kalimutan.

Nandito ako ngayon sa harap ng iyong puntod mahal kong Alma. Sa kinatatayuan ko ngayon ay naghahanap pa rin ako ng mga kasagutan sa mga tanong hinggil sa mahiwagang bumalot sa ating buhay. Bakit kailangan pang mangyari ang isang bagay? Bakit kailangan mo pang wakasan ang iyong buhay? Bakit mas pinili mong magbigti sa halip na mabuhay at lumaban?

Subalit hindi kita masisisi. Nagkulang din ako. Naging duwag ako dahil hindi kita naipagtanggol at naipaglaban mula kay Kamatayan. Tao nga lang pala tayo- mahina at marupok.

Paano ang magandang simula? Siguro kailangan ko na talagang tanggapin ng buong puso na ang nangyari ay bahagi na lamang ng isang alaala, isang bahagi ng aking pagpapatianod sa mas malalim na kahulugan ng buhay.
Inialay kong lahat sa iyo ang mga bulaklak na nasa iyong harapan ngayon tulad ng madalas kong ginawa noong buhay ka pa. Hindi na ako iiyak pa. Naniniwala akong magkikita pa rin tayo sa pangalawang buhay. Hanggang magpakailan man ito mahal ko. Makakaasa kang ako pa rin ito at ikaw pa rin ang iibigin ko.

Walang Maliw na Pag-ibig

There is no greater love than the love that holds on when there is nothing left to hold on to... In this short story

Walang Maliw na Pag-ibig

Hanggang ngayon ay ikaw pa rin ang madalas sumasagi sa isip ko. Isang taon na ang lumipas. Kung pakaiisipin ay mahabang panahon na rin iyon. Sa loob ng isang taon ay marami na ang nangyari at nabago. Ngunit ang pagmamahal ko sa’yo, iyon lang ang alam kong hindi nagbabago. Hindi ko masukat kung gaano kalalim ang pagkakabaon ng iyong alaala sa puso ko. Minsan talaga may mga tanong na mahirap ihanap ng kasagutan. Ganoon daw ang buhay. Ang lahat ng bagay sa daigdig ay nagaganap na may dahilan.

Sa linggong ito ay napadalas ang pagliwaliw ko sa mga disco bars, party at beer houses. Paano ko ba matanggihan ang paanyaya nina Jake, Mike, Shena at Ella? Naisip ko rin na kailangan kong ilabas mula sa loob ang mga hinanakit ko sa buhay. Tama sila, kailangan paminsan-minsan ay pagbigyan ko namam ang aking sariling malibang.

Sila ang palagi kong kasama. Hindi na kasi sila iba sa akin at maging sa iyo rin. Hindi ba sila ang tinuturing nating mga tunay na kaibigan? Sila ang mga kaibigan natin na hindi nang-iiwan. Sa oras ng aking kawalan, sila ang nagsilbing lakas ko. Sila ang walang sawang dumamay sa akin sa panahon ng aking kalungkutan at pilit nila akong pinasaya.

Halos sa lahat ng oras ay kasama ko sila. Inuman dito, sayawan doon. Sa loob ng nagkikislapang ilaw sa disco bars, sa mabubulang beer at sa madagundong at nakaiindak na tunog ng musika ay naisabay kong inilabas ang aking mga halakhak na matagal ding nagtago sa aking puso. Kakaibang saya ang naramdaman ko. Nagawa ko iyon ng malaya at walang pag-alinlangan. Talagang iba ang saya kapag kasama ang tropa. Tawanan, sigawan, bulyawan, tawanan ulit!

Itong si Ella hindi pa rin nawawala ang pagkakwela. Madalas ito ang nangunguna sa pagpapatawa. Naalala ko tuloy noong mga araw kung paano ka niya pinatawa nang pagkalakas-lakas. Naging kantiyaw na niya sa akin noon iyong mahubad ang pang-ibaba kong costume sa stage play namin na “Romeo & Juliet”. Hindi naman ako nagalit. Dahil nga sa kantiyaw niyang iyon ay nagkakilala tayo. At noong unang nabungaran at nasilayan ko ang iyong mukha ay iba na agad ang naramdaman ko. Kapag kaharap kita ay natataranta ako. Noon pa man ay alam kong umiibig na ako sa’yo. Salamat kay Ella. Sila na nga pala ni Jake ngayon. Biruin mo, nagkatagpo ang landas ng dalawa? Hindi talaga kami makapaniwalang sila na nga. Ikaw din siguro ay mabibigla. Pinaka- hate ni Ella ang chickboy. Si Jake naman ay ayaw niya sa mga babaeng masyadong magaslaw at liberated. Ang hinahanap niya ay iyong tipong Maria Clara kung kumilos. Mahilig siya sa mahihinhin at pinung-pino kung kumilos dahil iyon daw ang totoong dalagang Pilipina.

Sia Mike at Shen naman ay going steady na. Sa susunod na taon ay magbabalak na silang suungin ang buhay mag-asawa. Alam naman natin kung gaano nila kamahal ang isa’t-isa.

Marami na nga talaga ang nangyari. Alam mo ba nang dumating ang araw ng pagtatapos namin noong isang buwan? Kaming apat ang tinawag na Cum Laude sa taung ito! Si Mike ay sa BS Accountancy, si Jake sa BS Civil Engineering, si Shen sa BS Banking and Finance, at ako naman sa BS Education. Siguro kung nandoon ka lang, malamang ay dalawa tayo sa larangang ito.

Malapit ko na rin matapos ang aklat na inaasam-asam kung mabuo iyong “The Life and Adventure of Zalduah” Sa pagsusulat ko sa aklat na ito ay nagiging inspirasyon ko ang ating kwento.

Nitong huli ay nagawi ang tropa sa Meteor Park. Diba madalas doon tayo noon pumupunta? Maganda pa rin ito. Ang sarap damhin ang simoy ng hangin. Hindi ko magawang hindi dalawin ang mga alaala ng nakalipas at kung may gusto man akong balikan sa alaala siguro ay iyong araw na sinagot mo ako doon sa mala-palasyong Meteor Park. Paano ko ba malilimutan iyon? Ang pook na iyon ang naging saksi ng ating pagmamahalan. Doon naramdaman ko ang iyong walang kupas na pag-aalaga at pagmamahal. Sa pook ding iyon naramdaman kong bung-buo ang aking pagkatao. Naging masigla ang mga sumunod na araw. Mababaw nga talaga ang kaligayahan ng isang taong umiibig.

Halos masuka na ako sa kalasingan. Alam mong hindi ako dating ganito. Minsan ay napikon ako kay Mike. Gusto ko pang uminom pero hindi na niya ako tinagayan.

“Mike isa pa!” para akong batang nagsusumamo. Nakita kong gaano kasaya ang aking paligid. Para akong inilutang sa ulap. Ang lahat ay parang kayang-kaya kong liparin.

“Tama na, nasusuka ka na eh,” tanggi nito.
Sa grupo natin si Mike lang naman ang hindi agad-agad na nalalasing.

“Mabuti pang sumayaw na lang tayo,” sambit ni Ella at Shen na halatang lasing na rin.
Niyaya kaming sumayaw sa gitna ng dance floor. Todo naman ang sayaw naming lima. Ang sarap ng pakiramdam!

Sa gitna ng kasiyahan ay bigla ulit kitang naalala. “Kung nandito ka lang sana, ako na siguro ang pinakamasayang tao sa buong daigdig,” naibulong ko sa aking sarili. Nawala agad ang sigla sa aking pagsasayaw. Bumalik ako sa upuan at minarapat na lang na panunuurin sila. Kinamayan ako ni Jake, nagtaka siguro siya kung bakit ako biglang bumalik sa table namin. Nginitian ko lang siya. Magkahalong emosyon ang naramdaman ko. Naglakbay na naman ang isip ko. Sa aking balintataw ay lumitaw ang iyong napakaamong mukha. Napangiti ako ng ubod ng luwang.

Ikaw ang nagturo sa akin kung paano mangarap, mali pala, ang totoo, ako lang pala ang bumuo ng mga pangarap natin. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako masaya. Pero hindi mo siguro napansin noon na habang kasama kita ay naramdaman kong naglalakbay ang iyong isipan sa malayo. Inilihim ko na lang ang sakit. Nagtaka ako kung bakit nag-iba ka na. Ganun ba talaga ang umibig? Mahal kita at yan palagi ang binubulong ng puso ko.

Sabi nila oras na umibig ka kakaibang saya ang mararamdaman mo, magbabago ang lahat, magiging kapana-panabik ang bawat sandali. Iyong kapag nakikita mo siya ay bumibilis ang tibok ng iyong puso, sumasaya ang paligid, lahat ay nagdidiwang. Higit pa roon ang naramdaman ko sa tuwing kasama ka.

Bakit ba hindi ko magawang limutin ang lahat? Minsan, nakatulugan kong yakap-yakap ang iyong larawan. Mahal na mahal pa rin kita. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako masaya at ikaw din ang dahilan kung bakit ako malungkot ngayon. Laging may kirot na kumukudlit sa aking puso sa tuwing nagigising ako sa umaga at naalalang wala kana. Bago ako natutulog sa gabi ay umiiyak ako. Ngayon lang ako nakaranas umibig at mabigo. Ang sakit-sakit pala! Pakiramdam ko ay may bahagi sa aking pagkatao ang nawala. Baliw na nga siguro ako sa pagmamahal sa’yo. Pero bakit hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko pa rin matanggap na patay ka na? Bakit hindi ko pa rin matanggap na iniwan mo na akong nag-iisa matapos ang sumpaan nating walang iwanan. Nang lumisan ka, tumigil ang pag-inog ng aking mundo. Dumating din sa akin noon na parang gusto ko na ring sisihin ang langit kung bakit ka pa kinuha sa akin.

Hanggang kailan ko ikukulong ang sarili sa iyong alaala? Lagi na lang akong nakakulong sa kahapon. Para akong sinaksak nang sinabi mong hindi mo na ako mahal!

“Hindi a kita pwedeng mahalin.” Minsan mong sinabi sa akin.

“Pero bakit? At sa aong dahilan?” nagtatakang tanong ko sa’yo.

“Dahil alam ko na ang lahat!Hindi kita pwedeng mahalin dahil magkapatid tayo!” paliwanag mo sa akin. Nakita ko kung paano dahan-dahang pumatak ang mga luha sa iyong mga mata.

Para akong pinagsakluban ng langit at lupa sa mga sandaling iyon. Kinirot ang puso ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa katotohanang iyon.

Gusto ko nang lumaya upang ganap na makalimot ngunit bakit hindi ko magawa? Kapag balikad na ang takbo ng orasan o kaya naman ay kapag berde na ang kulay ng dagat, siguro ay saka pa kita magawang kalimutan.

Nandito ako ngayon sa harap ng iyong puntod mahal kong Alma. Sa kinatatayuan ko ngayon ay naghahanap pa rin ako ng mga kasagutan sa mga tanong hinggil sa mahiwagang bumalot sa ating buhay. Bakit kailangan pang mangyari ang isang bagay? Bakit kailangan mo pang wakasan ang iyong buhay? Bakit mas pinili mong magbigti sa halip na mabuhay at lumaban?

Subalit hindi kita masisisi. Nagkulang din ako. Naging duwag ako dahil hindi kita naipagtanggol at naipaglaban mula kay Kamatayan. Tao nga lang pala tayo- mahina at marupok.

Paano ang magandang simula? Siguro kailangan ko na talagang tanggapin ng buong puso na ang nangyari ay bahagi na lamang ng isang alaala, isang bahagi ng aking pagpapatianod sa mas malalim na kahulugan ng buhay.
Inialay kong lahat sa iyo ang mga bulaklak na nasa iyong harapan ngayon tulad ng madalas kong ginawa noong buhay ka pa. Hindi na ako iiyak pa. Naniniwala akong magkikita pa rin tayo sa pangalawang buhay. Hanggang magpakailan man ito mahal ko. Makakaasa kang ako pa rin ito at ikaw pa rin ang iibigin ko.

Pag-ibig at Pagkamuhi

This short story is an expression of my past broken relationship...it pains like a milliion pins pricking!

Pag-ibig at Pagkamuhi

(Tagalog)

Sa tantiya niya ay humigit-kumulang sampung taon na ang nakalipas mula nang sumakabilang buhay ang kanyang butihing tiyuhin.

Maglalabin-limang taong gulang pa lamang siya noon.Tandang-tanda pa niya ang tagpong iyon doon sa mismong silid ng kanyang tiyuhin kung saan nakahandusay ang wala ng malay nitong katawan. Walang nakakabatid kahit na sino man sa kanyang pamilya ng anumang dahilan nito para wakasan ang sariling buhay. Isang malaking palaisipan iyon na gumugulo sa kanya na ayaw na rin niyang tuklasin pa.

Mahal na mahal niya ang kanyang tiyuhin. Parang anak kung siya’y ituring nito. Kadalasan ang tiyuhin niya ang agad tinatakbuhan tuwing may problema na hindi naman siya binibigo. Ganoon siya kalakas at kamahal sa kanyang kinikilalang pangalawang ama na kapatid ng kanyang ina.

Nagtataka at nagtatalo ngayon ang kanyang isipan. Sino naman kaya itong si Jethro De Guzman na nakaalala pang sumulat sa kanyang tiyuhin na matagal ng naging abo? Wala naman siyang maaalalang ganoong pangalan na naging kaibigan ng tiyuhin. Maya-maya ay naisip niyang buklatin para basahin ang nilalaman ng sulat na kani-kanina palang niya hawak.


Dear Pareng Justin,

Kumusta ka na? Marahil ay nagtataka ka kung bakit ngayon lang ako nakasulat. Gusto kong sariwain sa aking isipan ang lahat ng mga magagandang bagay na nararanasan natin sa ating pagkakaibigan. Higit pa sa magkapatid ang turingan natin sa isa’t- isa. Lahat ng iyon ay magiging bahagi ng aking magagandang ala-ala.

Patawad Pare, hindi ako naging tapat na kaibigan dahil hindi ko napaglabanan ang aking sarili. Natuto akong magmahal sa isang babae na hindi ko naman dapat minahal. Matagal akong nakiamot ng kakarampot na kaligayahan sa iyo. Marami akong naging pangarap sa buhay, ngunit iisa lang pala ang too kong hinangad. Mahirap pigilin ang sariling iwasan o talikuran ang isang bagay na pinanabikan mong maging iyo lalo na’t abot-kamay mo na lang.

Alam ko kung gaano mo kamahal si Trix. Patawad Pare, sinuway ko ang anumang inilagay kong pagitan sa aking isipan at damdamin para bigyang laya ang damdaming matagal ko ring pinigilan. Iisa lang ang isasagot ko kung bakit ginawa ko iyon. Ang totoo ay mahal na mahal ko rin si Trix!

Noon pinilit kong binura sa aking isipan ang babaing kapwa natin mahal. Ginawa kong panansala ang aking nadaramang pagmamahal sa kanya, at maligaya kong ginawa iyon alang-alang sa ating pinagsamahan.
Umalis ako, nagpakalayo at matagal ding nawala. At sa aking pagbalik nabatid ko mula kay Trix na ako at ako lang ang minahal niya mula pa man noon. Hanggang sa nagpatianod kami sa aming di matatawarang pananabik sa isa’t-isa.

May anak na kami ngayon, si Dwight, isang mabait at matalinong bata.
Patawad Pareng Justin. Sana maunawaan mo kami. Mahal namin ang isa’t-isa. Sana’y mapatawad mo ako at si Trix.

Ang iyong kaibigan,

Jethro

Mariing kinagat niya ang kanyang mga labi, kasunod ang mabilis na pagdaloy ng kanyang mga luha sa kanyang mga mata. Poot at galit ang namamahay ngayon sa kanyang dibdib. Samu’t-saring diwa ang pilit umalingawngaw sa kaibuturan ng kanyang katinuan. At doon unti-unting nabuo ang mga kasagutan sa mga tanong na hindi niya inaasahan, ang katotohanang nabalot ng mahabang panahon.

Nasasalamin niya ang kanyang sarili sa katauhan ng kanyang tiyuhin. Ganyan nga siguro ang umiibig ng labis. Naalala niya si Cindy. Kahit na sinasaktan siya nito ay naghahanap at naghahanap pa rin siya ng maidadahilan para habaan pa ang pagtitiis. Sobra-sobra kasi siya kung magmahal. Nais pa niyang ihambing ang sarili sa gamu-gamo. Kung hindi mapaso muna, hindi maniniwala. Kung mabubuhay din lang siyang nagkukunwaring mahal siya ni Cindy gayong alam na alam na niyang totoo sisimulan na niyang mabuhay na wala ito. Pipilitin niyang mabuhay na wala ito. Totoo pala ang kasabihan nilang gahibla lang ang pagitan ng pag-ibig at pagkamuhi. Nasusuklam siya sa mga katulad ni Cindy at Trix!

Minsan talagang parang may pangyayaring mahirap paniwalaan pero nagaganap lalo na kapag tadhana ang nakikialam. Pero tadhana nga ba ang may pakana ng mga nagaganap ngayon sa buhay niya at ng kanyang tiyuhin? Isa lang ang alam niya. Hindi niya sasayangin ang kanyang buhay sa isang huwad na pag-ibig lamang.

Role Model Teachers of UNHS

Role Model Teachers of UNHS

In the work place, I am fortunate enough to have co-teachers who are not only excellent in their respective fields but also more than willing to share their thoughts about the profession they have come to love so that others would be able to get insights from. In this post I would like to introduce them to the readers of this blog. I salute them for their exemplary performance in years of unparallel dedication and commitment in teaching the young minds. These teachers are very determined and highly motivated individuals. They are gifted and talented educators whom students and people in the community always look up to.

Because of their exceptional crafts in the teaching profession, Unidad National High School (UNHS), which I am an alumnus, has become nest of professionals and leaders in the community. UNHS has produced numerous competent and well-rounded individuals in different fields. I will commend here three most outstanding teachers among the power list in the faculty of UNHS.

Drum roll please to Miss Nerissa P. Forrosuelo, the smart, energetic and untiring woman. She is an ICT (Information and Communication Technology) and Biology teacher who teaches with high spirits. She has spent eleven years in teaching but still the glow in her eyes shows a burning love for teaching and it is getting more intense. “I love to teach. I find it fulfilling when I teach good things to my students, “she said. She sometimes talks about real and big concepts that can change the way students look up things, which is why she makes sense to her students. In fact, she has been a big inspiration to them. She gains better insights into the students’ situation. When she is asked about what an ideal teacher is, she is quick to tell me, “An ideal teacher to me is the one who speaks with wisdom, and establishes friendships with his or her students and co-teachers. He or she should have a heart of a mother or father, a confidence builder and is a good counselor.” As far as I am concerned, that is what s he really is. When it comes to Science Competitions, Maam Neriss has been a national coach winner three times in a row now. She is known for her extraordinary approach in teaching science. It’s no wonder she was elected President of the Science Club Advisers Association of the Philippines (SCAAP) in Cluster 5 in the Division and CARAGA Region Philippines. She still yearns to teach, live and grow in the institution where knowledge is pursued and where young students are taught how not to commit mistakes again. She is willing to make some sacrifices for the greater good. She has three words to share with his colleagues in the government service. “Give justice to your work. Love your work and be open-minded, be flexible and willing to learn more about your profession and other essentials things in life.

Another heavy roll also goes to Mr. Abelardo Sarigumba, a very artistic and talented teacher of UNHS. By the sound of his name, you can already associate him with performing arts. His life becomes inclusively and exclusively attached to arts. SAYAWIT, Chorale group, Ethnic Ensemble, NAMCYA and Men and Women Artistic Gymnastics were among the competitions he choreographed and eventually won. Currently he is handling subjects MAPEH and Chemistry. He is also a science coach winner in Chemistry. According to him, teaching is the noblest of all professions. He believes that, “If others can do a thing that is quite hard, I know I can do it also.” He considered himself a fulfilled and successful teacher. “In my eleven years of teaching, both private and public schools, I have had students who are now professionals. Most of them are doctors, lawyers, bankers and teachers now.” Indeed there is a sense of pride in him when he realizes that these students achieved such level of success because of what he taught them in high school. Sir Abe can easily mingle with his students. But when it comes to discipline he said, “I discipline my students through individual heart to heart talk. I always tell them the value of education. In one of my talk with some students, I learned that they have nothing to eat in their meals. They just go to school and attend classes. These students live below poverty line. The parents should be more responsible to give biological needs of their children. When asked how he rated himself in the workplace he said, “I rate myself as an excellent teacher. What is his vision of UNHS? He just answered, “I am hoping that UNHS would become a Comprehensive School.

Mr. Abelardo "Abe" Sarigumba

A resounding applause goes to Mr. Emelito V. Gallegos, the school’s Mathematics wizard. Batches of students come and go. They all appreciated his extraordinary way of teaching Mathematics. In his eleven years of teaching, he could say that he has gone a lot of crests and troughs. “I love Mathematics and I also want the students to feel the same I encounter problems in teaching the subject like students low retention level of the lesson and showing less interest because they found it very difficult. There are factors that could have resulted to the students’ low academic performance. Students nowadays are prone to temptations of “kalingawan” or vices like smoking and drinking without the knowledge of their parents.” Inside the classroom when he starts his lesson, he makes sure everybody participates. “I always tell them that we’re here for learning, so let’s make the most out of our purpose. Since the subject is quiet hard, I tell them to spend time making drill in solving problems and establish a good study habit because it’s really important.”

Sir Belong, as he is fondly called is intelligent, open-minded and a proactive teacher. He has a good work ethics and is ever supportive to the welfare of the school. He shows a good working relationship with his co-teachers. His advice for his colleague: “Work hard; love your work and work not to attain praises.”

He philosophizes that students become great if they believe in their power to make a difference. “Share not boast, dare to make a difference”, he would tell them.

The UNHS is recognized in the Department of Education (DepEd) Division Office Surigao del Sur, Philippines as the “Center of Excellence in Mathematics”. What an accomplishment! Many people said that UNHS deserves it. This accomplishment is not without the concerted effort of other Math teachers. When I asked about his feelings for the news he said, “I have mixed feelings about it. I don’t know on which criteria or guidelines our school is evaluated. It’s good news to everybody in UNHS. We hope we would win more in MTAP (Mathematics Teachers Association of the Philippine, an annual Mathematics Quiz) competition in the division level, regional level, or even in the national level.”

Our role model teachers have a sense of self-gift to others especially to the students. They show their willingness and generosity to humbly serve and make some sacrifices despite of their Herculean task as mentors. In that since they have a lot to answer for the questions I asked.

Mr. Emelito "Belong" Gallegos

Zaldy: Why do you choose teaching as a profession?


Ma’am Neriss: After having received a diploma in a degree of AB History, my mind was set on historical findings and research. But by some streak of fate, God led me to Saint Theresa College (STC) in Tandag, Philippines where I spent joyful and fulfilling years of teaching. It was there at STC where I realized teaching as a very worthy profession. I become a teacher not but choice of a degree but by an “accidental calling”.

Sir Belong: It was because of poverty why I chose the Bachelor of Science Education (BSE) course. BSE in our time was inexpensive course. And teaching is the only profession I am exposed to. I’ve been with teachers and school in the entire 90% of my life. So basically, I am familiar with the nature of their job. I don’t know if there is already a study on this, when I was a child I used to play a teacher role.

Sir Abe: I chose teaching because I saw how noble teacher’s work is. Teaching is about transforming lives. The teacher invites his students to cross, then facilitate their crossing, and encourage them to create bridges of their own.


Zaldy: What do you think are your great contributions to the progress of UNHS?

Ma’am Neriss: I am putting UNHS over the National map of excellence in Biology, albeit what I consider my greatest contribution is my being more than honest and sincere enough in my work. Extending time for extra school work is a regular routine. Modesty aside, I have a “teachable personality”. I am open to give the best in me without reservation or for any accolade.

Sir Belong: I am supporting the administration for every good cause and I am opposing the same for no good cause. Winning in the different competition in Mathematics can be considered the other.

Sir Abe: This is my contribution to the school and also to mankind: I make it sure that I am with my students in the class to share with them, show sympathy and look after of their own welfare. I always treat every student like real human being.IDE

Zaldy: In your own point of view, what is a proactive teacher?

Ma’am Neriss: A proactive teacher for me is the one who does his/her obligations with perseverance and an open heart. Teachers are God’s special creation. They are endowed with special gifts as stewards of goodness and beauty. Every teacher has a responsibility to take good care and sustain what God has given. He/she should speak with wisdom to the learners because they are seedbeds of God’s continuing creation. His task is to help the child unravel the greatness of God’s creation within him which is webbed in his potency.

Sir Belong: A proactive teacher is a person who does more work than relaxation. For I believe in this world there is more fighting than resting.

Sir Abe: For me a proactive teacher is a person who is self-motivated and does his/her part in molding the students’ minds and hearts. His primary function is to provide a vehicle for a child wider vista of horizon.


Zaldy: What philosophy and core values do you instill in the minds of your students?

Ma’am Neriss: All God-fearing practical knowledge for human development is the real philosophy for me. I always remind my students, “Let God be the end of all ends.” It’s always for Him that we need to sanctify our dream, our desire and our material cravings. With God, we’ll not get lost. No matter how hard we strive, this world is tricky enough to sway us from the path of righteousness. But His love and faithfulness will always take us back to His fold. God is always true to His promise.

Sir Belong: The philosophy I instill to my students I summarized it in a single word- NUMBER which means, Never Underestimate Man’s capacity and ability, But be Even more Respectful.

Sir Abe: It is found in Philippians 2:14 which says, Do all things without murmuring and disputing. Students should follow the wisdom of the ages, the people who have deeper experiences in life. And when they do, they are always in the right track.


Zaldy: In what way can a teacher be an active and effective molder of a holistic education?

Ma’am Neriss: Well, being an effective teacher is more than a longing for earning. A teacher must be a disciple of God, an instructor, a caregiver, a confidence builder, and an ethical mentor. The center of teaching should focus on to the child as a holistic being far above the subject areas. A child-centered educator should learn the nature and the peculiarities of every child when he or she interacts with the others. He should draw and walk with the child to find his or her fullness as a person.

Sir Belong: A teacher is an effective one if the students could still remember and apply what they learned from him/her. Then education becomes holistic if the students become better persons because of the teacher’s instructions.

Sir Abe: He becomes an effective teacher if he has transformed the students into responsible individuals in the society. After all, education is for the total development of the human beings. And you are an effective teacher if you have Jesus Christ in your heart, because Jesus Christ is the greatest teacher ever walked on Earth.


Zaldy: What development program do you want to advocate making UNHS not only a haven of learning but also an institution that produces students of problem-solvers in the society?

Ma’am Neriss: I love to see students who exude confidence in what they are doing and persistent to reach their goals. It’s fulfilling to see students who are vision-oriented, creative, innovative, flexible and assertive. A massive integration of values education and character formation provides that avenue coupled with the institutionalization of a “caring culture” in the school that the good thing taught must be caught realistically at all angles in the campus. In addition, they need to be honed with a research mind that can freely connect people’s ideas across the globe. Oh my God! Let it happen. We need our school to be connected in the internet now.

Sir Belong: I would like to promote tutorials to students who need them the most. We know there are slow learners; we can’t just let them pass the subject without learning the subject. It will only weaken them and our school system when we just let them graduate. Why not give them the appropriate curriculum? Aside from our standard curriculum, let’s promote tutorials in whatever form.

Sir Abe: The components of individual intelligence should harmonize with his environment. I would like to advocate programs that recognize the total development of the students in the academic, music, arts and sports.

Moving Towards A More Challenging Future

Moving Towards A More Challenging Future


How very nice that I am given this rare privilege to deliver an inspirational message. Abundant thanks to Mr. Webster who defines “inspiration” as creative impulse to influence and stimulate others. He gives me inkling on where and how to begin my talk.

This afternoon, I will talk of something that everybody knows already. I will talk of something, which everybody at sometime, has been practicing but tends to forget because of the passion of the moment and the circumstances of time, place and other events in one’s life. I am going to talk to three major audiences present in this occasion. The first group is composed of teachers; second, the crowd of students and the third group, the parents and relatives.

Now, let us start with audience number one- the UNHS teachers. How often is it said that teachers are purveyor of truth and molders of society? Teaching is truly the noblest of all professions! I would like to quote William Arthurward who once said that “mediocre teacher tells, the good teacher explains, the superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires”. Here in UNHS, the teachers exemplify their work, demonstrate enormous enthusiasm in teaching the young minds. Here in UNHS, we have dedicated and committed teachers who strive hard to educate and lead the students to become responsible citizens in the community. The teachers have multifarious roles, which include the following: teacher of a variety of subjects; budgeter of time; data gatherer; organizer and encoder of some reports; accountant for commercial venture the school is engaged in; fund raiser for all reasons from repair of wall to the replacement of old classroom decoration; one man/woman tourist bureau; recreation leader; moralist and teacher of traditional values; a disciplinarian; he/she captives students to innovations which are introduced to the education system; an d he/she is a skilled psychologist ready to respond to every bureaucratic whim and caprice.

Then you might ask the questions: What makes a good teacher? What are his/her professional qualities? Well, the following are among the long list. He must: posses desirable qualities that could ensure his/her successful career; be naturally interested in teaching; have a good personality; have a natural love, understanding and consideration for students whom he/she will mingle with; have patience and self-abnegation despite the fact that teaching is replete with more thorns than roses, and is full of trials and tribulation, unlike other professions; he/she must be resourceful and creative; he /she must have a flare of art; have initiative and leadership for these are indispensable qualities since rural people look upon teachers as leaders and people of authority; have a good PR (public relation); be submissive to good suggestions and constructive criticisms; and realize that teaching is not merely a profession-it is a mission.

You see! Being a teacher is not that easy. But look at the UNHS teachers, look at their faces; despite of so many responsibilities, aren’t they happy and contented? They deserve to be appreciated and acknowledged! You should be grateful! Indeed, there is dignity and joy to be educators and molders of people and society.

Now, let us talk about audience number two. The clienteles of teachers, the so-called students. So dear students please lend me your ears and open up your senses that you may capture my message.

Someone has said that the obvious sign of learning is change. Many changes take place when you move on to your teen years. For one, your body begins to show changes. As your body undergoes changes, so does your mind. You learn to question things. You discover many new feelings that tend to confuse you. Oftentimes, these changes may bring you both joy and pain. While they make you aware that life is worth living, they also show that they can also be cruel.

Dealing with these changes is a part of growing up. This is the crucial moment that you need to be educated and get informed the most. The role of educating now comes into play. Education, I would stress here, is very important, so important that it should not be neglected because it is an instrument for the improvement of your life. That explains why students are sent to school.

Dear students, in school, learning does not need to be boring. Oftentimes, it is a lot fun! English subject is not boring, Filipino subject is not boring, Science and Math are not boring subjects as well as Araling Panlipunan, TLE, MAPEH and Values Education subjects! These academic subjects are designed to make you competent individuals. What you learned from these subjects, you could apply them in your own lives.

You have just witnessed the happy faces of the honor students who proudly march here in front to receive their awards. You could be like them! And why not! If you want to follow their footsteps and want to be listed among the achievers in the third grading period until the end of this school year, well, you need to do the following: (1) Love your subject areas and study them religiously; (2) Do your homework, assignment and other school obligations; (3) Comply your school projects/ requirements promptly; (4) Approach the subject teachers if there are some points you find difficult to understand. They are willing to explain them for you; (5) Read good books to broaden your horizon. Most bright students are avid readers of books; (6) Show a tremendous sense of responsibility in your studies. Take time to view your lessons for he day before going to sleep; (7) And of course the most important, ask wisdom from God. He is willing to give it to you. Follow my advice. Try it. It’s amazing. You may not realize it, but it works!

Finally, let us proceed to the third group, the audience number three, the parents and relatives of the students. According to Elsie L. Buck that a successful parenthood is built on three great principles: Love, Discipline and Security. And she is right.

We oftentimes hear that home is where the love is! This is what I learned that students will be delightful performers and achievers in school and keep doing well in their studies if they are living in a more favorable environment conducive to their cerebral growth and soaring. The students need your generous and supportive hearts. They need your constant reinforcement may it be financial or moral. Sometimes, they need to be understood because after school they need to replenish their energy used up already while doing school works.

In the solitude of your home, you are in the best position to mold, shape and develop them into the kind of persons you want them to be in the future. Inscribe in them everyday and every hour your instructions, your spirit and your good examples.

Teachers are sometimes complaining about the student’s character. The best opportunity to build character is within families where the students are constantly tested and most vulnerable to lapses. The character building begins at home. I strongly believe that the kind and nature of students today reflect the kind of discipline they have had from their parents.

I will end up my talk with congratulations to the three major audiences: to the teachers for keeping up with their teaching; to the students who are doing well in their studies including those who are coping up; and to the parents who are always with their sons and daughters in hard times and in good times. Together, let us move forward to a more challenging future.

You can reach me...

http://www.friendster.com/photos/36483634
mail to: zaldyalima@yahoo.com

Upclose Encounter with the BIOTA Philippines Inc.

Every photo here paints a thousand words... Just feast on your eyes in these photos. I will post the stories next time. Just bear with me...just arrived from a long and winding trip! I want to take a rest.

When You Take It All Off

When You Take it All Off

To my conscience:

You always remind me
Of how much a fool
I have been these days
You put into my system
The blame for not being
Virtuous enough
At sitting up for myself
You always tell me I’m thoughtless,
Unprincipled and loathsome.
Are you telling me these
Because you’re always right for anything?
Call me detest able and disgusting,
I’m just another imperfect being
Who feels and thinks this way.
But my perception and sensibility
Makes me more human.
It might be better not to pin
All my hopes on you.
I am already jaded and rotten
Walking along this lonely road.
I’m used up of hearing more
Of your admonition.
It’s no use to me now.
I am tired of your constant
Evangelizing and feeding me up
The dose of your sarcasm
Stop shouting and echoing
Your shriek voice in my ears
You’re having bright red mark on the face.
You think you know it all
But you can’t read my heart
I’ve been waiting half my life
To get a life, trying to slow
Things down instead of speeding them up.
But you’ll never guess what!
Haven’t you seen the good side of me?
I’m thinking about my little dream
And how it is going to be mine.
All you think I’m mean and vain,
And that my life is spinning
At the wrong direction
So there you are
You take it all off!
Then one more go.
It seems you enjoy watching
Me bare naked.
Tears are dribbling down on my face
Beating me up and beating me more
But you can’t hear me moaning
Even if how much I cringe for pain
Neither can you hear me sounding
Oddly like a tormented man in the dark.
I won’t shiver, I won’t scream
It won’t help me in anyway
I’d wish to be a man with a
Heart at his right breast,
I pray to be at peace with myself
And to my God
This is what I want most in my life.
Cant you see I’m fighting back now?

Then you become silient...

Against the Gravity

Against the Gravity


I have learned some insights
Into what it means to be alive

I am still living because I choose to live.
So if you want anything in this world
You have to fight for it, and that’s what I do.
Everyday I walk in the ways of my heart
And the things seen by my eyes
Anywhere I go, and whatever I do,
I feel the diverse parade of life.
And there’s a mixture of wonder and
Delight shining over me.
I am beginning to unlock the secrets of pleasure
And discover what poets already knew.
But, oh, it’s not easy to live life this way!
There are days when the laughter just stops,
Then I find myself alone
Standing at the heaven’s gate,
I view the world as a dying
Candle in the dark,
When was it that I truly enjoyed seeing fireflies?
Aren’t they so beautiful?
And delighting to the soul?
If I could believe in true love
I would never dwell in fantasies again!
Who has ever dreamed to live
In a profane and profound world?
In my tender years, I realize that love
Really moves in a mysterious way
It shouts and echoes to unleash
The things more than I try them to hide.
My dreams are as distant
As those stars in the galaxy
Sometimes I ask how it feels to be over the moon
Or soaring up into the solar system.
They said that not all pain is painful
And not all joy soothes the aching heart.
Beneath the sunless sky,
I find myself alone
Wrap again into the world of shadows,
A world of push and pull.
Every time I throw myself up,
I always tend to go down,
Day and night I keep on searching
A place that can be mine.
But I seem nobody,
I am so down and hopeless,
In my suffering I feel isolated
Many things are pulling me down
I pray that someone could toss me up
I can stand it no more,
But the journey must go on.
How I envy the birds flying over the horizon
Oh why don’t they fall out of the sky?
Are the secrets revealed in them?
I wish I could reach the top of the world
And defy the force of gravity!

Waiting for the Full Moon

Waiting for the Full Moon

It was once only a dream….

I sit quietly in one corner
With the full moon peeking in
Through the window,
I finally got down some thoughts of her
That thrilled my heart
In the privacy of my room.
Why is the wind so cold tonight?
Why does it penetrate the heart
And take the warmth away?
I long for stories that will bring her to life
I know only one – the story of her death
No one could give me the detail
I needed to know about the woman
Who was like a goddess to me
And a surging loneliness spread through me
From out of now here I heard someone singing
It was she, I thought.
The voice is like a song of the loveliest song bird
That lingers on to the tree
Why is there stirring of the soul?
This languor of the flesh?
My eyes could have been mistaken
But there she was, so pure and lovely!
From a distance I see her sitting on a piece of rock
Under the moonlit night
While the tiny stars swarmed crazily
Like a shower of silver sequins.
She’s so heart strong in a lot different ways
From the way her eyes glistened,
I could tell she’d been so happy
She was smiling with the guilesness of radiance of youth.
This is how much I’d come to love her
This is how when she joined my body
And there’s a part of my mind
That swims to join her against my will
I have a swimming filling in my heart
Like a creature thrashing to get out
And wanting to stay in at the same time.
How I love to hunt the moon
As it happily rises to glory
Its splendid beauty excites all my senses
There’s a flood of emotions poured from the sky over me
She seemed mysterious
I could see this time the shadow of her
Dying out as the full moon hung low and heavy in the horizon
Then I scampered off to the realms I am designed to live
My love for her remains forever
Her smiles always heal a thousand hurts within.
I watch the full moon slips below the treetops,
In my heart, I wouldn’t wish it to rise up again.

My Personal Rule in Life

My Personal Rule in Life

As a part of the course requirement in the subject for my master’s degree, our philosophy professor one day informed us to formulate our own personal rule that might help improve our destiny and on how it could assist us in the fulfillment of our goals as well as our 5 F’s. In this article, I would like to share what I have formulated.

Many people have already turned into philosophy to understand the universe and our life itself. They built their own philosophy by studying the philosophies of great thinkers of the past and of the present. However, their philosophies employ chiefly speculative means, rather than observation in a search for truth. These philosophies hope to inquire into the ultimate human reasons alone.

The origins of human philosophies are from people who have limitations. The Holy Scriptures informs us: “It does not belong to man who is walking even to direct his step.” (Jeremiah 10:23) History testifies that trying to ignore those limitations have not produced good results. Humans by nature are inclined to commit mistakes and have limitations. Additionally, their experiences in life are relatively brief and are usually confined in one culture or one environment. The knowledge they possess is thus restricted, and every thing is interconnected to such an extent that they constantly find aspects that they had not considered. Because of such imperfection, human philosophies often reflect a basic selfishness that leads perhaps to momentary pleasure but also to frustration and much unhappiness. Any philosophy that they originate will reflect these limitations.

What should be the more loving philosophy to live by? Today’s situation in our country and even in the rest of the world indicates an urgent and serious call for moral recovery not to mention the moral relativism and decadence, religious indifferentism, abuse of freedom, social injustice and rapid decline in the value given to human dignity. The answer to this question, therefore, must be something that may lead and bring people back to God’s embrace again.

It is very apparent that we people, have paid more and more attention to the process and less to the substance of moral enrichment.

Our education efforts have perhaps been geared towards making us emotionally attuned to subjectivity “good” things (that is what feels good and what looks good)at the neglect or expense of what truly and objectively good regardless of what it feels or how it looks. We, perhaps, have chosen to give more value to a culture of pleasure rather than to a culture of goodness.

Here, the structure of my personal philosophy is of course based on the spiritual truths found in the bible. “Be good and keep doing good” may sound saintly, pious and virtuous (for us to follow) and by the mere thought of it, we can then conclude that we cannot religiously do what it suggests. But it is worth a try. Perhaps I will better explain this carefully.
The following are biblical passages that may help contextualize how I came up with this personal rule:

Amos 5:15 “Hate what is bad and love what is good, and give justice a place in the gate.”

Luke 6:45 “A good man brings forth good out of good treasure of his heart.”

Romans 12:21 “Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.”

Galatians 6:10 “Really, then, as long as we have time favorable for it, let us work what is good toward all. ...”

John 5:29 “And come out, those who did good thins to a resurrection of life, those who practice vile things to a resurrection of judgment.”

Romans 13:3 “Keep doing good and you will give praise from it.”

It is human nature to feel good about yourself when you have done something great not only to yourself but also to other people. We can perhaps better appreciate the nuances of good if we look at how to do good things. Being good means being kind to one another, tenderly compassionate, freely forgiving one another. This also means caring through small things, doing good things and deeds everyday, bringing joy to our parents, relatives and friends, showing affection, building up good will, putting others first, reaching out and showing an interest in others, giving good examples, being selfless and making others happy without expecting anything in return.

Being good and doing good implies focusing on love and dissolving hate, resentment and hostility. All we owe anyone is love. An expression of love is one that attempts to make others truly happy in an unselfish way. When this happens only then can we make this world a little bit better, a safer place for us to live in. Isn’t this a worthwhile and wholesome philosophy to live by?

We all want to live the good life. Nobody wants to lead a miserable life. Our desire is to be happy. Happiness is the highest good that we can attain. For me, God is the “Summum Bonum “or the highest good to whom all absolute good, beauty, values and happiness are found. If we want to attain eternal happiness we have to make God the center of our life. This means living our life according to what God wills us to live. We have to live a simple life, spend less than what we earn, think constructively, cultivate a mental attitude of peace and goodwill, give generously and work with the right motives.
I may not be the most moral person I know but I am trying to be good in every way I can. God is there for us. He never forsakes us. I am a sinner by thought and by spirit but I never lose faith in Him who cares and loves us even from the start.

The Journey of a Teacher

The Journey of a Teacher
(An Introduction to My Blog)

Life in this world is a constant struggle, but the greatest battle truly lies within. How can I make this earthly journey full of meaning and adventure? Well it all depends on how I live my life. And for this reason I want to be mindful of what is going on in me every step of the way. Ever since college days, I have kept diaries for some reasons. I’m naturally a private person. I didn’t usually share my secrets with anyone else. When the world seemed unfair, writing down all my negative thoughts inside was the only option to solace my downcast spirit.

At first, there was a hard force at work within me. I was afraid that people would find out who I really was and that they might not understand. It was so hard to find real friends whom I could share great ideas and secrets with. I didn’t have anyone with whom I could open up my life like a book. But later on, I somehow learned to conquer all my fears. I’m now ready for the world to probe me closely like a glass slide on a microscope. I just conditioned my mind into thinking that after all, the consequences may not to be catastrophic.

My writing is now expanding. I have kept diaries for over seven years which unexpectedly turned out a compilation of six books (the first one was lost, until now it remains a mystery to me). However, diary is generally for private reading. Only few are given the chance to get invited to enter into my world, mostly the ones invited are those people with tested integrity.

From Diary to Blog

A year ago, when I watched a TV drama-documentary, Nagmamahal Kapamilya on ABS-CBN (a giant television network in the Philippines) the life story and travelogue of the young, adventurous Filipino-American caught my attention. His journey was intriguing to me. He calls himself a Coconuter. If you want to check his site, here’s the link: http://www.coconuter.blogspot.com/. I was so impressed and amazed his life testimonies and his journey here in the Philippines. He inspired me in different ways and even made me think deeper. It was only recently when I asked this question: Why should I not extend my diary into a blog? And so this blog exists. This blog has just born; it’s a brainchild from a Coconuter whose life is intricately lived in search of the perfect coconut that would fall to him from the sky.

Reason for Writing this Blog

I write it for myself and for everyone who is interested in transformation, transition or understanding that life as a huge battlefield is still beautiful. Writing this blog underscores the importance of a frequent mental catharsis. My journal entries help me look within myself and explore the world around me.

The Contents

I am a writer and poet in my own right. They said that poet sees more than ordinary person and feels more deeply than others do. I post here my poetry and my other literary works back in college days along with their beauty, mystery and irony which are truly engrossing and pleasant. Some of the genres are subtly sarcastic, mildly humorous and intensely emotional. They are all about the contemplation of myself and my dilemmas as a person, a friend, a son, a hopeless romantic and my work as a teacher. This blog is inspired to stir noble and lofty meanings of the life I live. Revealed in here are my joys, frustrations, lessons from mistakes and successes. My reflection helps me figure out what is really important in life.

Mistakes in Life

In the life of every person, there comes a time when he thinks he is invincible and he believes that the power of the sun is in his hand. Every person has his individual stumbling blocks onto the road to becoming a complete human being. I do remember all the asinine mistakes and blunders I made. I had been guilty of so many stupid, silly things myself. But I outgrew all them with the years. Now it is the time to bring something new to myself. There is another side of me for the world to see.

The Clear Guide

As I enter into the threshold of maturity, things are quite different because life demands more patience than what I can truly bear. But in the daily run of life, I learn to ignore them entirely. Every day is a self-discovery. I stand watchful of my every move. I observe that life is also a constant perturbation and triumph. What is important is I know how to stand again when I fall down. When I have doubts about the new path I lead, I am reminded in gentle reprimand that life is never easy, but there is God who gives a clear guide that I cannot do without. It takes misery to teach us about joy. It takes death to teach us about life, so embrace it when it comes.

How I Write My Thoughts

This is how I write all my thoughts. I crack away on the computer keyboard or furiously scribbling with my ballpoint pen until the ink spatters on the copy paper. There are times I find it hard to translate my thoughts into words. And there are times I find it really easy. I feel good at the moment and the words wonderfully flow like water from new found geyser. I want this blog to be a testimony of my existence. I want to overflow this with stirring emotions, angst and anguish, hopes and dreams including my prayers, songs, my unique encounters with people and my keen observations about the world I live. Writing down my thoughts helps me gain better perspective. It keeps me in the right balance. It is good thing for me to be able to sort out my feeling and thinking. This way, it can easily work on the area of my life that needs evaluation and filling up. I know that along the way, I would be vulnerable and transparent to all people but I don’t mind it. I don’t think less of myself, rather I feel a relief because the truth finally sets me free in this paradoxical life. And I don’t want to be a total stranger to myself. I am leading a secret thought life like anybody else, a life different from the image I projected. The more I write here in this blog, the more naked my thoughts seemed. I just let all these mixed feelings come out. I don’t want to store them up inside me forever.


An Invitation

Writing is a self-evaluation, an art of emotional healing. Writing about getting real and being true to what you think and feel is right is like a ray of sunshine on a rainy day consoling my depressed being. It keeps me in the right direction. I want to be as honest as I can possibly be in using the words to elaborate and express my feelings and thinking. I invite all people to join me in my arduous journey. This blog is also about my experiences, my successes and discoveries and other random thoughts. I hope I could maintain this site. Welcome to my life!

My Twin Nephews

These are the photos of my twin nephews. I will post the story of their birth next time. I'm sure the readers of this blog will be interested in knowing them.

UNHS Nutrition Month Celebration

Many things happened during our Nutrition Month Culmination Program. See the photos for yourself.... I will post the storyline next time.

A Scar to Remember

Now, I believe that time is a great healer...

A Scar to Remember

Some thing unusual has occurred which breaks my gentle nights sleep. I dreamed a scary dream again that awakened me from a slumber. It seemed it was like a continuation of the one I dreamed of a week hence. My heart beats incessantly that I have been gasping for breath.

I look at my wrist-watch and it’s fifteen minutes past twelve midnight. I soon realized that I have been clutching a familiar photo. Stirred by its sight, I looked at it even more closely. I obviously know the young man in the photo. I know him inside and out. He was my half-brother who made my childhood miserable.

I was five then; he was four years older. We only had one thing very common. He had a sharp memory, and was witty and smart. But how on earth could we be brothers and we had many things uncommon? I supposed that was the plain reason why we were disconnected and contrasting in almost everything, therefore conflicting.

I had been very assertive, the domineering type, the popular smart aleck. He was the insolent tyrant, the toughie kind who enjoyed lording over all my affairs. He hated the way I flushed with my childhood pleasure and pride. I had been very innocent, so naïve to think about justice, freedom and rebellion. He detested my little happiness, my little joy and excitement. He is from the Imperial and I am from the Alima. Mama had annulled her marriage to his father when she was just two. Papa reared and treated him as his own son. I knew he was envious of me. Sometimes he got mad at me for instruction I didn’t really understand. But eventually, he had to accept me and even took good care of poor little me and my younger siblings.

We grew up together. He had been odd and rude to me with each passing time. He used to punish me every time I did stupid mistakes. He wasn’t that kind who would just whip me with a stick or belt. There was a time he punished me by marking my left hand with a burning metal and that was a great ordeal! This left a scar on my left hand. There was even an instance when he had intended to push me down the high staircase. I thought that was the end of me. I didn’t tell Mama and Papa about this sadistic treatment to me for fear things would aggravate. Besides, my parents were too preoccupied to glimpse at us. Since then, I became very sickly. The hurtful feelings I bore still lingered in. The pain was overwhelming. I almost choked in the quagmire of pessimism.

Patiently, I endured all his cruelty. But my endurance and patients got some limits. It was he who taught me to be wild and vindictive. In the process, I learned to disagree and assert my rights firmly and we became like those troubled brothers in the neighborhood who squabbled and fought like cat and dog. More often than not we argued over trivial matters. We just couldn’t patch things up.

Such state went on for some years. But some time ago, I thought of ending our intensifying feud. I forced my self to be close to him. I tried to talk to him. I wanted him to be in good terms with me. I wanted him to share with me his little fears, his desires, his sentiments and even his life. But my efforts were all in vain. It was quite hard to understand him. I thought it was futile thing we could be the best of friends.

When I entered college, the turning point of my life had begun. I finally sought asylum for myself. I had never been a happy person until we parted our courses. He went back to his hometown where he wanted to find his destiny. I had wished him not to come so as to make my life a hell again. What a good design to get rid of him!

I started to live on my dreams. I kept myself busy in my college studies and in the student publication. I was like a happy bird, after being freed from the cage. Finally, the thorns have been extracted and I could breathe with relief. I was convinced to believe that life is beautiful and worth living for. What is only left to me is the scar of yesteryears – painful and bitter memories. But the trail of bitterness had suddenly changed and faded out rightly when one day my family received the stunning news which really shocked my world.

“No, he’s too vital, too fully alive to be dead!” was the wordless cry of my soul.
I felt a sudden stroke, an internal turmoil I could understand. Tears slowly streamed down my face. My soul refused to believe in what I heard. But it really was!

The funeral was huge. The cemetery was congested with mourners - overflowing with the family relatives. My brother’s death weakened my callous heart and humbled me. I moved toward the casket where he rested peacefully and I was silently crying.

“Manoy Sandro, sorry for having been too harsh to you,” my words were too soft and weak to be heard, my voice quivered.

“ We can be the best of friends, I believe we can see each other again in the time.”
I learned from his real father that he was hospitalized and laboratory diagnosis proved that he died of typhoid fever.

The long months of solitude slowly drained me of all thoughts and feelings. I now realized more deeply than ever before that despite the ill treatments he had inflicted in me I still love him because he is my brother. I was just badly clouded by my sentiments that I couldn’t afford to apologize to him for pride and arrogance’s sake. I misunderstood him. I had forgotten he was also common clay, very human like me. I couldn’t deny the fact that I have a share of my mistake too.

This time a surge of renewed life sweeps over me. I looked at the photo again. He looked blithe and happy on his posture. Maybe I won’t dream of that same dream again tonight. I checked my watch once again. The time is 5:30 a.m.