Reflection of My Life ( A Journey to the Real World)

Some things are indeed hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down or either you dramatize it or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to. But in my diary and in this blog I can freely lash out for anything, fill with rants about everything from my stupidity to my faux pas. Here I can say anything because unlike real people with real angst to get rid of and real ears that can bleed from my constant whining, it won`t talk back and tell me to get lost. I want to write on my diary and post my thoughts in this blog regularly. There is nothing like putting down the pent up emotions or certain memorable experiences in my own words. This is how I began to develop the habit of reflection, a journey deep down into my soul.
It is my pleasure to recount and share about something of greater importance to me, what I have discovered in life including the things that make me happy. I have leaned that living life to its fullest need not be as hard as it seems. I also have learned from experience how to beat up the humdrum realities in life.
I am now twenty-four years old, uninhibited, unassuming and very much enthusiastic. It takes a certain degree of maturity to understand life. When the person gets older, he becomes wiser. There is wisdom in growing old and I have every reason to believe so.
When I look at myself now, I can say that I am not the “me” as I was six years ago. A new person is being born in me and everyday I see the dramatic changes going on in my life. After I tear out the calendar pages of school days gone by, I get down to the task of establishing a career, perhaps choosing a life mate, starting a family, building a home and accumulating things. Now I see a myriad of reasons to smile, laugh and talk with the abandon of happy, young and vibrant things. This is synonymous to good fun. I still laugh and cry. It is just that I laugh more often than I cry.
My memory is quite sharp. It is true that the mind can give back only of what it was first given. The windows for teaching and learning are still open. What a joy it is to measure up my journey this way while experiencing the coolness of the moon and the effulgence of the sun. In my quiet hours of solitude, I find myself enjoying my beautiful sanctuary fill with the hush of evening time as the shadows lengthen and the sun sinks to rest. This is my happy world, exciting and full of promises. There is no way to worry about because I know I am on the right road. I can be great in my own chosen endeavors because I am endowed with a powerful brain to think and a sensible mind to create something that my heart desire.
I am in control of my life and if I am in control of my life I can fill it up with pleasure to lessen life’s hardships. Accepting life’s uncertainty can paradoxically overcome fear and enhance survival. I can draw strength and courage from choosing to celebrate the ordinary pleasure of life even in the shadow of death.
How well life turns out a far cry from the early days. What I am is fortified by those times when life is not fair. The upside of life must far outweigh the downside. Life will have its bumps in the road. I learned many wonderful things in dealing real life from real people. These real people are my family and my friends. They have jokes to crack, dreams to share and stories to tell. They are not only too funny to be with, but they are also too intimate to forget.
The world is changing and so its desires. Everyday I observe poverty, disease and injustice. Then it seemed as if the people I know would try to bully me with philosophical questions such as why did God make us in the first place? Why do we need to live if we are only to suffer? Brutal wars often lead them to wonder whether there can be meaning to life. Why is the world so unjust? Where does this world head to? But then I draw close to God I find the satisfying answers to all these questions. I believe there is a Creator behind life and the universe. . In him, my life becomes more meaningful and rewarding. I have discovered the most wonderful truth in living this kind of life. Someone has told me that the best way to prepare for the future is ahead. But the present is now to enjoy and to enjoy and to cherish for its uniqueness, for its onceness, for its thereness because it will never come again. I should live each day so that later in life there won’t have to be regrets. It is not just the small choices that we make daily that will determine what our future will be like.
Our perception of the world depends on how we view life. Who we are is more important than what we appear to be. Life at this point can be viewed by unadorned mirror of reason and realism.
There is another way to view life. The world may be likened to a stage on which the drama of eternity is being unfolded, I am the actor, the sun rises and falls like a great curtain day after day and every time I repeat my lines, I make a decision. I either respond to the cues of my daily circumstances just to get part over with or I look at my role in life as a wonderful opportunity to know and enjoy the goodness and wisdom of my Great Director.
Life as I know it, is a struggle. The desire of most people is to be happy, to avoid pain and suffering and to escape from the bleak of woe that so many of us seem to lead. Everybody wants to live the good life. And why not? Who would seek out a life of suffering? There are always two sides of the coin. There are good times and bad times, love and hate, luck and tragedy, all these get in the way of fairness which is why I must sometimes accept the lack of it in my life.
A wise person builds his life on the rock rather than on sand. Though life is like a trudging lab experiment, I still survive. To hope is not always to receive, that is why I must also prepare for the twists and turns. I don’t want to be a clouded philosopher. I will never seek to replace reality with illusion. Someone has especially written this to me:

“Rejoice young man in your youth
And let your heart do you good
In the days of your young manhood,
And walk in the ways of your heart
And the things seen by your eyes.
But know that on account of all these,
The true God will bring you into judgment.
So, remove vexation from your heart,
And ward off calamity from your flesh,
For youth and the prime of life are vanities.”

I am now a mature person who makes choices based on how they help me the best I can possibly be. I have learned a lot of precious facts of life. And with that comes other valuable lessons about learning from mistakes, searching ways to improve and finding the will to try again. It is said that joy is a great teacher, but so is despair; wonder is a great teacher, but so is confusion; hope is a great teacher’ but so is disillusionment. I must realize that I need other people even as I also realize that I must stand on my own two feet. I must learn to love and not just depend on being loved. Sometimes emotions may becloud reason, but they are also the source of all emotions. I know now that the brain is primarily responsible for feelings.
I am about to embark on another important voyage. Of course, first things in life should be first. This is my life and it is for me to live in. Am grateful to the people who have touched my life and to the events and experiences I have known- all these have contributed to the shaping my life. For all the good times and the bad times, the days of health and the days of illness, the joy and heartbreaks- all have gone to make me ready for my place of service.
Sometimes I commit mistakes because of my human imperfection. But my God is more than good enough. Jehovah forgives me every time I stumble and fall. He is not expecting perfection from me. He just wants me to repent and return his embrace. I find myself quietly offering thanks to have my life as it is, to work in the world I do. I realize that what runs deep runs quiet and usually lasts longest. This somehow helps me expand my horizon, allowing for subtleties and nuances.
I journeyed too far to look for myself. Now I have just arrived. Einstein once said: “The man who regards his life as a meaningless is not merely unhappy but hardly fit for life.” But I am looking ahead. I have learned how to ask the right question. This will be my stepping-stone on my path to growing wiser and stronger. May the angels in heaven be with me always.