WORDS TO LIVE BY
Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.
Don't ask the barber whether you need a haircut.
If you cannot catch a bird of paradise, better take a wet hen.
Never eat anything whose listed ingredients cover more than one-third the package.
Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble.
People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.
Let your intentions create your methods and not the other way around.
THE AUTHOR although Benjamin Franklin said it first
Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper.
Put all your eggs in one basket and WATCH THAT BASKET!
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
Live simply that others may simply live.
Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner.
Always obey your superiors—if you have any.
Never underestimate a man who overestimates himself.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and shoot down the middle.
The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
One does not moisten a stamp with the Niagara Falls.
No leg's too short to reach the ground.
She that knows why knows wherefore.
He digs deepest who deepest digs.
Never call a man a fool; borrow from him.
If it might break, don't go near it.
Go through the motions anyway; you might get lucky.
When you handle yourself, use your head; when you handle others, use your heart.
When the telephone rings, it is against the law not to answer it.
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LIFE
Life! Can't live with it, can't live without it.
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
Some people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five.
MALCOLM FORBES etched on his tombstone
Life's experiments are great fun. This is but another one.
A man's life of any worth is a continual allegory.
Unified, disciplined, armed with the secret powers of the atom and with knowledge as yet beyond dreaming, Life, forever dying to be born afresh, forever young and eager, will presently stand upon this earth as upon a footstool and stretch out its realm amidst the stars.
H. G. WELLS
There's an old joke: Two elderly women are at a Catskill Mountain resort and one of them says, "Boy, the food at this place is really terrible." The other one says, "Yeah, I know, and such small portions." Well, that's essentially how I feel about life.
Woody Allen opening lines to Annie Hall
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
HELEN HAYES AT AGE 83
Some say life is the thing, but I prefer reading.
RUTH RENDELL
We cannot be normal and alive at the same time.
E. M. CIORAN
Is life not a hundred times too short for us to stifle ourselves?
FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
Who knows? Maybe my life belongs to God. Maybe it belongs to me. But I do know one thing: I'm damned if it belongs to the government.
ARTHUR HOPPE
I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.
DEUTERONOMY 30:19
Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
MARK TWAIN TOM SAWYER
Life is too short to waste In critical peep or cynic bark, Quarrel or reprimand: 'Twill soon be dark; Up! Mind thine own aim, and God speed the mark!
What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner.
COLETTE
If I had to define life in a word, it would be: Life is creation.
CLAUDE BERNARD The Bulletin of New York Academy of Medicine
Dear friend, all theory is gray, And green the golden tree of life.
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE
There must be more to life than having everything.
MAURICE SENDAK
There's got to be more to life than sittin' here watchin' Days of Our Lives and foldin' your Fruit of the Looms.
MAMA MAMA'S FAMILY
Remember that you ought to behave in life as you would at a banquet. As something is being passed around it comes to you; stretch out your hand, take a portion of it politely. It passes on; do not detain it. Or it has not come to you yet; do not project your desire to meet it, but wait until it comes in front of you. So act toward children, so toward a wife, so toward office, so toward wealth.
EPICTETUS
Grasshopper, look beyond the game, as you look beneath the surface of the pool to see its depths.
MASTER PO KUNG FU
Life teaches us to be less harsh with ourselves and with others.
JOHANN WOLFGANG VON GOETHE
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